Guest Writer Hillary: This DSP Single Mom Has a Secret

Guest Contributor Hillary says she has what may be a “dirty little secret”.  It involves “me time”, and guilt.  See if her words resonate with you.  Let her know what you think about something all parents may face, one time or another.

I have a confession to make.  I just picked my kids up from a week at their grandparents.  I know I should be happy to see them, and I am… but I’m also mourning those seven days of freedom I just experienced.  As an overwhelmed and overcommitted Domestic Square Peg, I enjoyed a little time out for myself.  But that short break for me comes with a price.

I’d like to say I wouldn’t trade any second of it, but that would be a lie.


Just like any mom, I love my children.  I’ve been a single parent for most of my son’s life and all of my daughter’s.  I attend all of their school functions, I play both good cop and bad cop and I am the only chauffeur on their staff.  I’d like to say I wouldn’t trade any second of it, but that would be a lie.

This last week was a revelation to me.  Sure, my kids have spent time with friends and grandparents, but rarely have I had enough “me time” to really settle into it and enjoy.  I found I was much calmer: I laughed a lot, I danced around to music, I slept better than I have in years, I didn’t dread going to work every morning… and I didn’t miss my kids.  In fact, we didn’t even speak on the phone.

My week alone was the mental break I needed.  For once, I wasn’t “on call” 24/7.  I didn’t do anything wild and crazy—in fact, the first night alone, I stayed home and cleaned my toilet (the world can’t handle my craziness.)  This isn’t a case of someone missing their misspent youth.  I just needed a break.

Maybe I’m more of a DSP than I think.


Now, I feel great—ready to take on the world, kiss boo-boos and be everything to everyone.  But I also feel a little guilty.  I don’t hear my parent friends saying how nice it is to be away from their kids for a few days—I just hear them say how much they miss them.  They still fuss over them while they’re gone.  Maybe it’s because they have partners—even if they’re divorced—someone they can tag team with.  Maybe I’m more of a DSP than I think.

What I do know is that I love my children more than anything.  But I also love me and spending time with myself.  So what do you say, DSPs?  Is there something wrong with my wiring?  Or is this a dirty little secret other parents share?

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One Response to Guest Writer Hillary: This DSP Single Mom Has a Secret

  1. DSP Dixie says:

    Three Cheers to you, Hillary. There should never be any doubt in recognizing that you need a break from your children. Many parents who travel for their jobs get weekly breaks and no one ever questions them. I wish more parents would be as honest as you are in this article. The shame would be gone and we could all take them time for ourselves that we need and deserve…especially single parents. As I always say, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
    So, schedule your “me time” – it makes us better moms, happier friends, and helps us to live our best life. Find what fits for you! Welcome to DSP, it’s an honor to have you.

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