Retro-Sexual: It’s What “Fits” for Me!

With all the current media hype surrounding male grooming, our In Defense of Men DSPs couldn’t wait to get their hands on the subject. Some are slightly manicured and others are spotted with bike grease, but they all call it like they see it.

Next comes DSP Harley:

I have been sitting on this post for most of my adult life apparently.  It really started boiling to the surface when my grandfather died.  I was suddenly hit with this vast emptiness and sense of a void in society I didn’t even realize was there until he was gone; the male legacy.

My grandpa taught me deep sea fishing, automotive mechanics, honesty, integrity, welding, how to launch and land a Dory, winning Pinochle, and respect for those above and below my station. But what I saw was a man who had passed on a great deal of knowledge to me/my generation that you cannot find in a Google search.  The same will be said of my father in future conversations as well.  Grandpa was a man’s man right?

The flip-side of this coin was that my grandfather was in no way warm and fuzzy.  I do not think I ever saw him get emotional.  He was almost always in jeans or coveralls, would never have watched any chick-flick, and I can guarantee that he NEVER had a “fat day”.

So I found myself in a conundrum.  I loved fishing, yet I cry every time during ‘The Notebook’, love every kid I have ever coached, am a bit of a germaphobe, and yes…I mans cape - and have fat days.  Where is the social-definition for a guy like me?


No metro-sexual would be caught dead in greasy coveralls. Most of the time, a metro-sexual  male would drop his sedan off at the local boutique auto-mechanic, go grab a cinnamon dolce vanilla latte, and watch the work being done on his car while downloading apps for his iPhone or spend an hour texting in the waiting room while the ‘man’s man’ did the maintenance.

Where do I fit in?

I love my iPhone, clothes, and personal hygiene as well as getting dirty in the yard, lifting weights, and riding my Harley.


The definition of the retro-sexual is not something you can pigeon hole.  There are no altruistic parameters.  The retro-sexual male blends the best of both the Industrial Revolution-male with the metrosexual guy.  The best of the Old School and the New School.

The retro-sexual can change his own oil, as well as change his daughter’s diaper.  The retro-sexual might very well be highly manscaped, and yet have those freshly shorn regions covered in sweaty filth from cleaning the gutters.  He can speak confidently about the AFC West and Tebow-mania, as well as cook a phenomenal meal for his family.

What are we passing down to the next generation?  What type of example are we leading?  A cold, impersonal, function-over-form ideology like what my grandfather’s generation had?  Or a soft, dainty, scared of your own shadow, everybody gets a trophy persona the traditional metrosexual has been?  Personally…I want a blend of the best of both.  I will be the retro-sexual.  Whose with me?

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3 Responses to Retro-Sexual: It’s What “Fits” for Me!

  1. DSP Connie says:

    I’ve seen you with your baby girl, and I’ve heard you talk about your love of coaching sports. I think you’ve found a balance Harley. Thanks for your view on this manly topic.

  2. DSP Harley,
    That was much better than Count Raoul’s take. I can certainly see myself in your schema, I coach every sport I can, yet can still pop into Target to get my wife AND daughter their “monthly” supplies. There must be a balance, your Grandfather sounds a lot like my father, the gentleman who could also kick your ass on the field. Not a bad model to aspire to…

    • DSP Dixie says:

      Alberto…thanks for the comment! We love Dads like you at Domestic Square Peg! Find what fits for you …

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