Dogs, Cats, Birds … my many “Pets”
Upon self-reflection, I would have to admit that I have a lot of “pet peeves”. This would come as no surprise to my poor wife who has to endure the same rants every time we come across one. Some are what many would consider normal. Okay, is it too much to ask to take your screaming child for a walk as they melt down in a restaurant?! I have a child. I get it. Parking lots are perfect for tantrums. Also, the lost art of the 4-way stop makes me insane. Would everyone please figure out who has the right-of-way! I’ll give you a hint, if you want to turn left and the car facing you wants to stay straight, IT’S NOT YOU!
A short science lesson
Some peeves, on the other hand, may not be as common. Let’s see. Does it bother anyone else that, when someone lays his or her head on a book, the joke phrase “learning through osmosis” always seems to follow? Osmosis is the movement of WATER across a semi-permeable membrane. If, in fact, information could leak from the pages of a book into your brain, it would be diffusion, not osmosis. Anyone? Just me? Bummer.
My next peeve comes from one of my greatest passions/time-suck– The Food Network. I would consider myself a culinary enthusiast. Some could argue that it’s more of an obsession. I spend hours upon hours watching cooking shows. There aren’t more than a handful of shows that are targeted toward men during the day anyway (different peeve filed under the stay-at-home-dads-lack-of-tv-options). I usually flip between SportsCenter, The Food Network, and The Travel Channel. The absolute explosion of cooking shows over the last several years has made the home cook much, much better.
It’s in the stars, baby
The “celebrity chef” revolution has taken cooking (at least my cooking) around the world and back again. That’s great, right? But can someone please tell me, why is it necessary for a chef that has no accent whatsoever to pronounce certain ingredients like they just stumbled off a boat at Ellis Island? Do you really need to say ‘Parmigianino Reggiano’ with a thick Italian accent? Did you just roll your rrrrrrrrr? I know you’re trying to sound authentic, but come on. You add some cheese and all of a sudden it’s a scene from The Godfather? This recipe would be good for “Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday…”
EVOO Oh no, Joe
Speaking of food shows– one of my biggest peeves. E.V.O.O. Stop it. I understand the need for acronyms and text phrases as time savers but, we’re not 15, we’re not texting, and you’re not my BFF. Do me a favor. Say the letters E.V.O.O. out loud. Now say Extra Virgin Olive Oil. IT TAKES THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME! It’s not like we’re planning to go Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus diving this weekend. There’s no need. The next thing you know, some poor soul will be wondering the aisles of a grocery store looking for a box, can, bottle, packet or tube with the letters “EVOO” on it (Um, DSP Lovey already has, don’t judge!). Or worse yet, asking someone where they keep their “Eveew”. Who are you helping? I don’t get it. It bothers me and it needs to stop. Is it just me? I guess it’s just not in my DeoxyriboNucleic Acid. LOL. TTFN.
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