I can tell you, without a sliver of doubt, that there are things you and I don’t agree on. But I can also tell you without a sliver of doubt, that I will not hate you for not sharing my opinions. But sadly, there are plenty of people who will.
Friends who can agree to disagree
I have a good friend who sees the world through a completely different lens than I do and at times we joke that we might as well live on different planets. But I see this relationship as one of the greatest gifts in my life because we can actually talk about our difference, discuss our viewpoints, and sometimes we just agree to disagree. But more times than not, we find common ground and greater understanding on a variety of subjects. I always leave our time together feeling like I have gained knowledge and have an additional perspective to consider.
I wish everyone could have a relationship like ours. The other day I spoke with a man who works for a small business in Los Angeles. He was sharing with a co-worker, who he has known for years, that he was hoping his son would consider going to a small private Catholic university instead of a big school, when the co-worker stopped him midsentence and told him that he was the biggest Atheist, Christian hating person my friend would ever know, and that anyone would be crazy to let his kid go to a college where they would brainwashed with religious garbage.
Why use the word hate?
What caught my friend off guard was not so much that the man was an Atheist, but that he had chosen to use the word “hate” while describing his feelings towards religion. While the man was entitled to his own beliefs, my friend could not uderstand why he had to hate others for theirs?
Hatred drives a wedge between people. It also takes away people’s ability to talk openly about their own opinions without fear of judgment or even in some cases, retribution.
We seem to live in a world where a lot people believe the adage, “If you are not with me you are against me.” But to me the sadder part of this way of thinking is often times people don’t even try to find out if you do share the some of the same points of view or at least a similar ones.
They look at your clothes, how you wear your hair, if you have tattoos, what kind of car you drive, and what kind of music you listen to, who your friends and family are, and often decide they hate you without ever having exchanged a single word.
Listening to good advice
But a wise person once gave me invaluable advice about how to deal with a hater. She said to act the opposite of what a hater would expect you to be like. If they have sized you up and are treating you rudely with their actions for words in an attempt to show their disdain for who they think you are, what they think you believe or what you look like; kill them with kindness. Because a few kind words may just change their opinion and then there would be one less hater in the world. And even if they don’t change, your kindness keeps you from becoming a hater too.
View all posts by: DSP Lovey.