I Really am a Loser

I truly am a loser. I lose almost everything I touch. Just one time I would like to open a drawer and have the thing I am looking for be in its place.  Just one time I would like to not have to ask my children to sit perfectly still and listen carefully for a faint ringing, while my husband calls my misplaced cell phone, while I stand next to him with my fingers crossed that it doesn’t have a dead battery or a silenced ringer.  And just once I would love to go an entire day without misplacing or just plain losing my sunglasses or my keys.

I try, I really do, to get more organized and end my losing streak, (no pun intended). I have purchased almost every product or book that claims it can help me, but so far, none have.

Just put it back in the same place and you will always know where it is.

And although I greatly appreciate the simple advice I‘ve been given over and over again, by those organized dudes and divas, telling me to just simply putting things back in the same place every time. It just doesn’t work like that for me.

I am a person who once left her keys in the oranges at a grocery store. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how they got there. I am also the person who tries very hard to remember to not be talking on the phone while parking my car in a large shopping mall, because it is almost guaranteed that when I come out I won’t have any recollection of where I parked. I will end up spending ten minutes (or so), walking through the rows of cars with arm up in the air, hitting the lock button on my remote over and over again so the car will beeps like a locater devise.

And sadly, I am the one family member who is never allowed to hold airline tickets, amusement park passes or movie stubs, because I have caused sheer panic by misplacing one or more of our boarding passes mere moments before takeoff on more than one occasion.

I was truly sad when on a recent trip to Disneyland, my husband hung ticket holding lanyards around the necks of me and my kids, but refused to let me to put my ticket in the holder for fear I would lose it, even though it would be securely around my neck. I felt really silly walking around the park pointlessly wearing a lanyard with a clear plastic pouch hanging from it.

But your mom is so organized!

And maybe even worse is the fact that my husband; a super organized, label maker lover, and my mother; a true domestic diva and former owner of a company specializing in organizing closets, seem to spend a lot of time trying to figure why I lose everything.

I may be the only woman on this planet, whose husband has said, “Why can’t you be more like your mother?”

Trust me, I have tried.

So until I figure out a way to stop losing everything, I want to thank all of you out there who have taken, (or will be in the future taking) time to help me look for a lost wallet, keys, a cell phone, sunglasses or the numerous other things I am capable of losing. I sincerely appreciate the help.

Just this morning I saw an ad on TV for a clinic that claims it can end all bad habits. I wrote down the telephone number and considered calling, until I sadly remembered I lost my cell phone at a camp yesterday.

I may truly be a hopeless cause.

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2 Responses to I Really am a Loser

  1. R2 says:

    One of my daughters gave me a keychain 4 years ago that says “Keys I Haven’t Lost Yet” . I recently was going through the security line at Chicago airport, tickets and license in hand and realized as I was going through the detector that I didn’t have my license. Three security agents were looking all over the area. Finally found it on the conveyor baggage system. I stopped the line for a while. People behind me in line loved me I’m sure!

    It gives me some peace of mind knowing there are others in the world that I can relate to-

  2. susan says:


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