DSP BERT JAY: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I almost never impress people with my singing voice.

I almost always practice everything in moderation.

I will NOT eat meatloaf or Brussels sprouts and certainly not a Brussels sprout meatloaf

The first time I met my wife I knew I would convince her that I was the guy.
It would be wrong to think extremely

My Mom always told me that I was going to have to learn how to entertain myself.

Character flaw – impatient.  Did you read that fast enough?  Come on!


I always knew I would have children.  I just didn’t think I would still be one myself when I did.

I’m afraid of Chuck Norris.

One time I met the president of the United States.  I’m not going to say which one.

I wish I could have a man cave.

Number of siblings - two older brothers.  I am still clamoring for attention.

I was born in a manger.  Actually it was in 1969, I wish I could say at Woodstock or during the moon landing, but alas no, just in your average suburban hospital.

Something no one would believe about me is I cried watching King Kong.   The most recent one.  Really.

Habits I dislike most in people – getting “OBO’d” by someone.   Do you want to meet up tonight?  Sure! (unless something more fun comes along).   Also, people who make smacking sounds after yawning.

My worst habit is wasting time.

True love is when someone cleans up after you.  I mean something they’d really, really rather not clean up.

Ginger or Mary Ann?  Threesome.  Who am I kidding, Mrs. Howell.

I feel the most ‘myself’ when laughing.

Three words to describe me – gregarious, creative, snide.

Three people (dead or alive) that would make the BEST dinner party – MLK, Steven Hawking, Larry David.

Hollywood actor who would play me – Matthew Perry.  If we wait any longer…Tom Arnold.

There’s no good way to tell your kids bad news.

One day I will get that hole in one.

BONUS: Tell us two truths and one lie about you and let’s see if anyone can pick out the lie:

  1. I had dinner with Bono and told him I couldn’t help his cause.
  2. I performed standup comedy in front of 2000+ people, and got paid for it.
  3. I met President George W. Bush and he kind of chewed me out.

Guess which one is the lie … comment on Facebook. 

Check back tomorrow for another conversation with a DSP writer.

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