9 Things You’ll Never Hear This DSP Say

  1. These Crocs are so cute and comfy. And they go with everything!
  2. I think I’ll save these shrimp shells and make a homemade stock.
  3. I can’t meet you for coffee, I have a ton of laundry.
  4. I only drink ______ wine.
  5. Sure, you can sit in the front seat (insert child’s name), it’s only a short drive.
  6. I just can’t stand it if my clothes are wrinkled.
  7. One gallon equals four quarts.
  8. I really have no opinion on the next election.
  9. This is my natural color.

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2 Responses to 9 Things You’ll Never Hear This DSP Say

  1. Count Raoul says:

    Instead you might hear:

    1) These shoes look like toads, but yours are worse
    2) I’ll save these grape skins and trade them in on wine
    3) I can’t meet you for coffee. Wait. Where are my kids?
    4) I only drink while I’m awake.
    5) “Who want to help mommy drive?”
    6) I can’t stand it if my clothes smell like I washed ‘em.
    7) What? Math. I don’t do math. I’m blond.
    8) What’s an election and what are they serving?
    9) I don’t remember my natural color.


  2. Joy-Gay Pahl says:

    That’s our southern Gal, Dixie!!! Love it and so true. She makes me laugh!

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